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Welcome! Any newcomer or member struggling with compulsive gaming is welcome to post here. We encourage you to post an introduction and ask for help.

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Reply to topic  [ 4 posts ] 
 Here's My Story 
Author Message

Joined: Sun Apr 02, 2017 3:27 pm
Posts: 2
State/Province/Country: Massachusetts
Hello CGAA,

Today is the first day I admitted it to anyone outside of my close circle of family and friends that I am a video game addict. It is official now.

I have been addicted to video games since I was a child. When I was 7 my parents got me a Nintendo Entertainment System with Mario and Duck Hunt. I would play for hours. With each new generation of consoles the games became more immersive and I would play more and more. My friendships involved going to other people's houses and playing games.

Things got worse when I moved out on my own. I saved up enough money to get a high end gaming computer. I got a Steam account. I played Civilization V and was hooked. I also played Skyrim and was even more hooked. I would stay up all night and call out to work the next day. Sometimes, I played 15 hours straight, only stopping to go to the bathroom or eat. When I wasn't playing, I would think about playing. One day work was canceled due to snow. I was on my way home to play more games when my girlfriend texted me that she needed help digging her car out. I very nearly ignored the text because I wanted to play games that badly. That's when I realized it was a problem. I uninstalled Steam and wrote a safety note to myself to open just in case I started playing again. This was 2013. I was sober until just a few months ago.

In late 2015 I started studying to become a Certified Financial Planner. It was harder than I thought, and I kept failing the exams. Instead of getting the help that I needed, I gave up the CFP certification in the summer 2016. Then the election happened. Not to get too political, but I was not happy with the results. The fear of the election and the shame of failing the CFP took it's toll on me. My girlfriend, who now lives with me, went out of town. I relapsed and started playing again. When I admitted it to my girlfriend she asked if she thought I could manage it. I lied to her and said that I could. I feel so bad for lying to her. After another cycle of addiction involving no sleep, calling out of work and feeling like crap, I uninstalled Steam and wrote myself another note (I had lost the first one in a move.) :( I admitted to my very patient and understanding girlfriend that I lied and now I am contacting you.

I am hoping that by joining a community I will hold myself accountable to not play games. I am afraid if I continue to play games I will never "grow up" to have the life that I want, and my long term girlfriend will leave me and I'll lose my job. I want to replace gaming with healthy activities: exercise, singing and learning the guitar come to mind. I would like to have a buddy to keep me sober and a space to share my story and listen to the stories of others. I live in the Boston area and would love to meet face to face with people, bur I can do things online in the mean time.

I am ready to listen. I am ready to be heard.


Sun Apr 02, 2017 5:23 pm
Profile

Joined: Sat May 17, 2014 3:06 pm
Posts: 888
Location: Charlottesville
State/Province/Country: Virginia
Welcome RT, glad you found us here. I found that joining this community of recovering gaming addicts was a turning point for me. Before that, I'd been trying (and failing) to get my gaming under control for two years. Even though I did manage to go periods of time without gaming and did manage to avoid certain problematic games, by the end of those two years I was gaming more than ever.

I lied to my wife and jeopardized my job by gaming when I was supposed to be working. I have a fairly long list of problems created in every single area of my life when I was compulsively gaming. I'm very grateful to have escaped the vicious downward spiral. I know I would not have been able to do it without support and accountability and hearing the honesty, experience, and suggestions of those who managed to stop gaming long term. I highly recommend coming to the voice meetings and listening, asking questions, and getting to know people. Together we can do what we cannot do alone.

If you want to start meeting people around Boston, let me know, I can put you on the email list for the Boston area. (Your email would not be visible to anyone unless/until you write something to the list, and you can create a new Gmail account for this purpose.)


Sun Apr 02, 2017 10:00 pm
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Joined: Sun Apr 02, 2017 3:27 pm
Posts: 2
State/Province/Country: Massachusetts
Thank you for your reply Scott. I actually went to one of the meetings online today and found it to be very helpful. After the experience I don't think I will need face to face meetings but I will continue to do them online. Thanks for your help. I am so glad I found this community.


Mon Apr 03, 2017 11:45 pm
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Joined: Fri May 20, 2016 3:35 am
Posts: 5
State/Province/Country: Sweden
Quote:
"Things got worse when I moved out on my own."


I can really relate to this. When i lived on my own it was much easier to just "disapear" for several days (or weeks) without anyone interfeering in my gaming

Thanks for coming here and share


Tue Apr 04, 2017 4:29 am
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